cul de sac

Man is afraid of the unknown. But this fear surely cannot match those that generates from uncertainty and predictable frustrations. When you hit the abyss and eons pass by with you still breathing in that uncertain limbo. When it seems like being forever trapped in a womb and even death a far off consummation! There is no way back or no moving forward. stalemate.

In-Limbo

Philosophy teaches man with better ways to handle/cope life, to survive even when it appears improbable to you. Philosophy tells you to not give up till that ultimate coup de grace.

I have seen people distressed, still living life. I have seen people being fucked over and ending her own life. The latter being considered immoral by most. The ideal being working through the labyrinths of life until it stops regardless of your volition. If birth wasn’t in your hands so shouldn’t be death. This, apparently is the credo.

However, things get more interesting when there’s this superpower’s influence many theorize about. The invisible puppeteer, the creator or the Nature. Who selects who shall live, who decides about who’s more fit and worthy of survival. Atheists flout these as make believes for wusses who need parenting every second of their existence. Agnostics aren’t but cats among the pigeons, but they have their confusing contribution too. Ignorants are the most chilled out breed, all they care about is if there’s a working WI-FI everywhere to keep up with virtual socializing, Oh and I forgot beer! But when you end up being stuck in the womb, forget facebook…YOU ARE SO GROUNDED!

So, then came the concept of Karma. You only reap what you sow. One dangerous deed must have landed some in a permanent status quo. Now suffer dolts. But when this happens to the most innocuous if not generous of people, blame it on Luck. Desserts deserved or undeserved it doesn’t matter mulling over them.
Judgment and reasons are always many but none apply when it comes to individual realizations. There is justification for every odd ball one misses hitting. I escape the dichotomies that exist when I try to define myself in character. I pray whenever I’m in trouble, if they work-I’m a theist, but most of the time I question the design of unjustified retribution or injustice in its Draconian supremity- I’m an atheist. I ship Hinduttva, I swear by it’s moral practice, revere its philosophical depth but most of them I don’t perform as stringently as any knowledgeable person would do.

I’m optimistic at the initial hurdles but I’m a pessimist at most failures. The latter being more frequent, these days even the dictionary.com meaning of ‘Sanguine’ surprises me. It exists!
Personal success surprise me and I end up thinking that I don’t deserve it! Nonetheless, I wait for these surprises, however eternity it takes. I also believe that LOVE is a big old gimmick. Selfish, and becomes a habit if you don’t check it. But I can vouch by the Love that transcends known boundaries and into greatness. Love that preclude any tiny shred of materialism is something I’d like very much to believe in. But it doesn’t exist, simply. So, where does that put me? Who and where am I?
I await death in any form it comes, I don’t know if it’s the Finish but I live waiting for it.

dont cry

When you end up back in utero, you are oblivious of time but still you can find sense in the rhythm of your heart beat. That is you being alive, listen to it beating and dream on unrestrained. You are indeed the Captain of your soul and nothing else matters.

Be kind,

Amritamononoke.

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