Sorry, but what if I’m not sorry?!
My Aunt says one should always travel light on a vacation and mend the unnecessary wrongs one has knowingly done in the run up prior to embarking on the journey. So that the spirit feels the buoyancy of a guilt-less conscience, so you enjoy to your fullest as you’re supposed to on a vac. I know she secretly fears that the plane I will be on might crash not being able to put up with the baggage of my burgeoning sins!
Since childhood, one thing was crystal clear and supremely important to my brain, I shall try to do everything possible of me when she asks me to do it. She has always been the only person I listened to without a wee bit of doubt, be it with my senses closed. That’s some “Salman Khan-ish” COMMITMENT I can seldom break out of !!!
Just today when we booked the air ticks, she instructed me to follow the routine to ring those people up with whom I might have had a dirty slate to clean. I literally had to ask for their forgiveness, regardless of who I thought was wrong in the first place. And so I called them, cajoled them with my sweet-n-glib tongue into forgiving me of the nuisance I created or they created or somebody else started. Like ” I’m sorry IMF but NO Greece doesn’t need your austerity measures, ok byeee.”
All my friends know that very rarely do I say sorry to someone who’s actually close to me, whom I wouldn’t want to lose for any reason. I’m an over analytical person, I really take care not to insult any body or hurt them with my brusque manners if there ever be such a lapse. Decisions and your behavior toward somebody, I believe, are like one of those 5 options 1 correct multiple choice questions. A compulsory attempt and an irreversible choice one has to live with. If I have once behaved with you in a certain manner, it was then a conscious decision to treat you like that after weighing all the other probable responses and possible repercussions.
I have no right nor wish to be sorry for that conscious action I had once taken. Yes I called you today, foregoing my ego, to coax you into pardoning me, did that boost your self-righteous esteem? But what if I’m not sorry?
Am I going to die in a plane crash this time??? 😉
Only time will tell, nevertheless, there’s a bleak chance that I will call you again, those who let me be sorry and let me own all the blame to their ego’s relief. We are from now on mutually unwelcome starting today! 😀 I have told you sorry just because I wouldn’t wanna be remembered as another John Denver, not yet, not until I have attended a Coldplay concert in Kolkata!
No kidding! One cannot really iron out the creases off a crumpled paper. I’m glad some people are not in my life any more, some trouble less, eh! So what I said sorry, called for a truce, moved on to everybody’s reprieve…?
(Gives me a good closure but 🙂 )
And listen ey…. I’m sooooo #SorryNotSorry