I am not talking about China’s economic bubble, nope!
I am writing about more humane a Gas-bubble and when it feels short-changed in that overrated emotional currency, feelings.
FUCK! THAT HURTS.
I’m going to be dead-honest with you here, no ornate subterfuges, no mincing words and without an iota of alternate truths to pander my ego.
For people who follow the world economy, the first two sentences are logically connected by a common cause. Now look at the sentences again, before you come back to my spelling out the menace.
Root of evil: Over-investment.
Obvious isn’t it?
For a cynic, it takes years to start believing in a relationship, invest time and thoughts into one. Slowly trusting the person enough to ignore the wary caveats. Even if the warnings came from one’s best friend(s) in a certain unique case! Yours truly openly acknowledges of having been a ‘Gadha’ (donkey) and nothing less.
When the bubble bursts, you realize it was all a lie. A hogwash we put up with. For an incorrigible Gadha it lasted close to 5 years!
“ when you love someone and it goes to waste,
stuck in reverse…”, COLDPAY (fix you).
It fills me with great disappointment when I look back at this Donkey tale (Gadha-Kahon). Was I comfortable being lied to? I remember spotting the telltales and ignoring them still because I was confident of the innocence of that person. I remember all the ugly stories I’d heard from my friends, dismissing them to be of apocryphal, gossip-origins. And now I’m ashamed of my own credulity. I regret laying bare my thoughts to that person. Thoughts, humor, stories, inclinations and impulses that are only to be shared in the trusted companionship of friends.
China has only to blame itself for its investment in white elephants. I blame myself for getting tangled to this only to be damned over. How could I possibly think the world of a person of that ilk? What kind of a person belittles other person’s feelings telling you in all flippancy- I’d sell in millions a book written about this? Who does that? Could I be any more wrong in trusting an inveterate liar? The irony is I was tipped off about this person’s selfishness and proclivity to lie but I thought it was only restricted to the relatives the person would lie outright to. For who cares what a stranger from nowhere thinks of you?
Do I hate this person now?
My friend Nandini says, “Hate is just Love gone bad. If you are to forget about all this crap, IGNORE.
Hate is a strong word as the adage goes. What happens then to the love and trust once held in pure intentions, aren’t those strong enough not to forget?
What really happens when the bubble bursts?
Do you ‘Adjust’ yourself to the absence of people you loved so much that it once hurt to miss them? (This shit is new to me. 😀 😉 )
I mean, how can one ignore the nagging feeling of pity and regret over this whole past? How could I be this irrational? I have let myself down.
The bubble did burst, it had to, it was all gas. Except of course for some true feelings. I’ve accepted it today and honestly speaking I am starting to be at peace now. So what it was for a wrong, probably the wrongest person in the Universe for the lack of a better word, for whom your feelings were/are true enough to get this hurt. It must have taken a toll on your ego by the end of it all, and trust me I know how that feels. At least at the end of it there won’t be anyone hurting your feelings again! With time you won’t even remember how much it ached looking at the scar.
Nota Bene: Always, ALWAYS, listen to your best friends particularly in the matter of trusting people. They know the best for you 🙂 They will now flock to tell you this: “I told you, now suffer…
(pause) chalo Gadha-Ganguly, let’s go for a movie.”
And never trust a lover of literature who’s- an ignorant reader/clumsy in sentence construction/materialistic and more importantly one who’s a certified poseur.