I hate this part of me.
That longs to see you vulnerable,
Tired in the battle against your own demons,
Yet, not wanting to be free.
It’s been an achingly long wait.
For your eyes to meet mine..
When you know we can’t get closer than this.
When I’m ready to look back unafraid.
I promise to be patient
For the poignant tales to find their expressions.
Through hideous truths
Or unabashed confessions
I promise our silence won’t brew a judgement.
A little there and a little not there,
It was never a promise,
Not the type of art one can bank upon.
An implausible justification of a clinging desire.
Yet, when I thought the fallacy has consumed me
It would come and kiss me.
Usher in a forgotten dawn.
And instruct the rusty bones to go out in the sun.
Greet a newspaper vendor by his name,
“Tell me what is new with the world?”
Albeit, you are not supposed to wait for it.
Remember how Gandalf always came unannounced?
It would wax and wane.
But you wouldn’t remember any longer,
What came before everything turned grey.
And when my poems turned into a ramble.
Were you a little there or never really there?
It has been long… I’ve faced the dawn.
Sometimes a moment is enough
To find a way back to yourself,
the coloured imagery,
the mind numbing intensity,
With which it will steer clear
of the clutter of memories in sepia.
Adrenaline rush you say?
The moment you catch someone stealing glances,
between the pauses in your conversation,
Trying to be as furtive as they can.
And you know it’s not the pimple on your nose
Or the many odd imperfections.
The precious moment you realize being valued,
In someone else’s eyes.
In someone else’s desire,
In someone else’s one self-less act,
Towards you, all exclusive!
When you wish to be warped in that moment, FOREVER.
That’s some conundrum right? 😊
It’s a beautiful feeling indeed when you catch a person stealing tender glances off you. I don’t know what to make of it though, if anything, I feel guilty of having caught them off guard! If I could be any more thick, I would eventually ask them: ” what is it?”. If the other person blushes and does not put a proper reason forward, there you can confirm on your moment. 😃